I wrote this blog post when I first arrived in Portland and on a different blog site. However, as we get into a season where people begin leaving ministry positions for a variety of reasons, I felt it was very timely. What’s great about this post is that its good and often true regardless of what job we hold. Most of us will experience leaving one place for another. I have made some minor tweaks since the last posting. Enjoy and let me know; “What would you add to the list?”
If you are in ministry then there is a great possibility, if not certainty, that you will make at least one transition during your ministry career. It’s very likely that you will make more than that. I do know a small handful of ministers who have started their careers at a church and have been able to stay. To them I say well done. I think there is something very powerful in being able to remain in one location and really invest in a community.
I, however, have not been one of those and I most recently made a major transition from the Midwest to the Pacific Northwest. In my decade plus of full-time ministry and almost another decade of filling every role imaginal, I have found that far too often many of us in ministry are unaware of how to transition and leave well.
For those who do or have been in the game long enough to know or have learned I am sure you can relate to this, but for you who are just starting out, please, for the sake of all that is good, learn to leave well. Unfortunately, this is not something that is taught or presented in your education track for ministry, or any other job for that matter. It is left to simply learn as you go through the experience.
Here is the truth about transition, it is painful for all parties involved. The one who is leaving and those who stay behind. When someone has invested heavily in your life, to see them leave is difficult. There are numerous emotions that go into that experience. And because we are humans and we often let our emotions dictate what we say and think, there are times when the words said to those leaving can be harsh, critical, and hurtful.
As humans, our initial response, whether intentional or accidental, is one of wanting to protect our image, our hearts, our lives. We want to make sure “our story” is told correctly. As ministers of the Gospel and even as Christ followers, our initial response should be one of love and understanding that what is being said comes from a place of deep hurt, sadness and although not intended, maybe a feeling of betrayal.
When you leave a place where you have invested a great amount of time and energy, leave well in order to set up those who come behind you for success. Now I realize that there are number of reasons for why you might leave, some are within your power others are not. But regardless of the way you are leaving, leave well. Sure what is said to you, done to you, reason for your exit might suck, but you can control what is said and modeled to those you lead.
To leave well, and this might sound like of those “well duh” kind of things but when you are in the midst of transition often common sense things go out the window. So if and when you face transition regardless of the reason:
–Take the high road. While you may want to defend yourself from harsh words or personal attacks, don’t. Sure it sucks and is immensely more difficult to do this but, taking the high road guarantees that you don’t say or do something you may regret later.
–Be mindful of who you confide in. Not everyone you talk to needs to hear what you are thinking or feeling. The reason for your departure or what is said to you might be incredibly painful but not everyone needs to know so be aware of who you share what with. Not just for your sake but theirs as well.
–Prepare for the Next Chapter of Ministry. Unless your departure is due to the elimination of your position, there is a great chance someone will follow you. They have a monumental task of following someone who was loved. They have to fill your role while trying to do ministry the way they are gifted. They way you leave, sets up the next person for success. Encourage those in your ministry to open their hearts to this person and to really give them a chance. Let them know they won’t do it like you but that is ok. In fact that is good because them trying to be you would be colossal disaster.
These are just a few things that I wish someone had talked to me about when I first started in or even when I was preparing for ministry. There are plenty of others that could be added to this list and the longer I serve in ministry the more I am sure will come to be true, but these give a great start when transition is upon you. If you lead and serve well, it will be difficult but your tenure will not just be summarized by what you did but how you left so for the sake of those who come behind you and those who stay behind; Leave Well.
So what have you learned and what else needs to be added to this list?