This summer, my yard went totally dormant. All the grass in my front yard turned brown and I don’t think I mowed my yard but one time after the middle of June. It was brown, ugly and appeared to be dead. Both houses on either side of me had this nice green grass all summer long. It was beautiful, lush and nice to look at and then there was mine right in between them.

At first I tried to keep up with watering and trying to fix some patches that had become more moss than grass and thought I was doing everything I could. But then I got busy. Watering every night got expensive and slowly my yard turned brown. I knew what was needed. Nice consistent water and some cooler temps and that it would return to a green yard that I would once again need to mow. However, it was a long, hot, dry summer with no end in sight.

To be totally honest, my yard was a perfect representation of my life. It was a long, hot, dry summer both personally and professionally. It was one of the hardest summers of my career due to a variety of events that unfolded. Before you get worried that this is one of those “poor me” posts, it’s not. I promise. It is simply an honest reflection of where I was and in some ways probably still am, but more importantly than that, over the next few of days I want to share some discoveries and lessons with you, that I learned and I hope could be of help to you if and or when your life gets to a similar place.

It wasn’t until the end of August, that I finally admitted to myself that I was in a desert season of life. Nothing was happening. Even though I was working hard and doing what I needed to do, I was seeing very little success. And I am not sure if it started in my personal life or my professional life but it quickly became an accurate description of both. It was difficult to actually put those words out there. I did not want them to be true and so I thought that if I did not actually say the words, “I am in a desert season” then it would not be true. But let’s be honest, just because we don’t want to admit something doesn’t mean it’s not where we are.

Photo by Katerina Radvanska on Unsplash

To quote Max de Pree, “A leaders first responsibility is to define reality.” The first person we lead is ourselves, even if we do not see ourselves as a leader. In order to lead ourselves well, we must be honest about the situation in which we are living and walking. Refusing to define current reality does not help us get out of the desert, it simply keeps us wandering in a place we do not want to be.

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That was discovery number one. I had to define my current reality and admit that I was in a desert place in my life. In order for anyone to move beyond any point in which they are stuck, they must not simply be aware of where they are, but speak it out to themselves but also a trusted friend or coach or mentor or write them down in a journal. I knew deep in my heart that I was in a desert place, but there was something powerful about admitting it to myself and then sharing that with a trusted individual who could then begin speak words that I desperately needed to hear.

Let’s stop pretending that if we don’t make an honest assessment of where we are then it won’t actually be true. I believe that our words are powerful. They can give life or they can bring death. Our words can build someone up or they can be used to destroy what is there. Throughout history words have brought people together and words have been used to tear people apart. The tongue is a powerful muscle. And often the words we speak can become truth. But simply refusing to speak what is true about our lives does not mean it’s not reality for where we are and what we are going through. Often the very act of vocally speaking out where we are is the thing we need to begin the journey to where we want to be.

I want to wrap up today’s post with a question that I hope you will answer honestly for yourself and if you are willing to share as a comment on this post. Where are you at right now in your life? Are you in a desert or a garden oasis? Are you in the wilderness wondering when it will end or a place of beauty and rest that you hope never comes to an end? It’s ok to be in either of these its just vital to our souls that we speak out the truth of where we actually are.